I need to find the time to analyze the ideas holding me back from seriously pursuing pleasure:
I'm still trying to work things out when it comes to my philosophy, I've been studying objectivism for a while but it has led me down a road where I feel like it's not the life I want to live. I need to think carefully because I think Epicurus might be right about how to truly live the best life, but I need time to also do university and do my interviews. Like, maybe I need to carefully analyze the questions I have, but right now it seems like a whole lot of questions and a whole lot to analyze that I need to find the right place where I can do this in an organized way.
I think Epicurus has a more intuitive approach to observing what your desires are, looking to your nature. I think we need a great level of open mindedness to discover what our nature desires, but after all this time I dont understand how Ayn Rands philosophy will point you there. Do I need reason to justify playing and enjoying my finite life? Shouldn't reason be instrumental to living the best life rather than reason for reason's sake.
I was in this discussion forum with people that were rationalists and objectivists for a long time, but I think it's kind of a nutty place where they have very strange ideas that just dont match up with my experience, definitely contradict epicureanism, and I almost cannot accept will lead to the best life.
The thing that really disturbed me which led me to leaving that place was when I was told by the leader that.... and this is a long story I need to explain that I'm forced to go to church with my zealot christian younger brother because my parents are very controlling, occassionally malicious, and irrational, and I talked about this in the discussion forum. And I was fed up with the sermon message they were talking about one day which was about "sexual immorality". The objectivist rationalist philosophy discussion group leader said "you dont understand the cultural battles, gays are hostile against the church. That pastor is supporting the church and therefore are defending civilization and is on the side of the good." I dont know if it's a coincidence I became sick for a few days after that. I know I wouldn't be able to argue against this guy because hes too clever. But why should I argue against this guy? Why am I going down this road, how does this lead to the life of true enjoyment?
Epicurus focused on the important things, like undermining any superstitions. I think undermining the disturbing psychological afflictions my religious upbringing brings me a tremendous physical peace. Why should I focus on anything Epicurus showed was vain?
It's late, I'll just post what I wrote. The key point is I need to have a relatively organized analysis of the reasons why I'm choosing to follow Epicurus and abandoning these other ideas. Reason should be instrumental to living my best life.
(There's still lots of good ideas from these non-Epicureans, like being honest when talking about philosophy and using abstractions to solve problems (But this should be instrumental to pleasant living)).
Am I (becoming) epicurean? <--- I didn't know where I should post this, you're free to move it Cassius, if you read this.