Some minor feedback:
QuoteA person whose primary orientation is the avoidance of pain does not choose pain. Full stop.
This is a straw man argument. Such a person would certainly choose a lesser pain as a means of avoiding a greater one.
QuoteEpicurus pursued nature because he recognized that every day lived in unnecessary fear — of death, of the gods, of what the neighbors will think — is a day of a finite life squandered and taken away from the pursuit of pleasure.
"pursued nature"
I think that should be "studied nature"
"fear...of what the neighbors will think"
While Epicurus would not have advised fearing what our neighbors might think, he definitely did not recommend ignoring their opinions.
His advice was to live so as to avoid attracting either envy or contempt.
(My source for that is DeWitt. PD 39 is certainly one of his sources, but translators seem to disagree about the meaning of that one. I have not looked into what other sources he cites.)